Those who care
by Ciero-Blue
Summary: Izaya is thinking wether he should live or not and later on gets his answers. While expecting to bring happiness it turns out to be the opposite. -Shizaya!- -Character Death- this is my apology for not updating :( Please review
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **hey guys I'm terribly sorry for not updating my stories it's just that I couldn't find the time to write :( so here's a story to make up (hopefully) so again I'm sorry and i hope you like it.

**P.S:** sorry for any mistakes. English is not my native language

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara nor any of the characters (wish I did though)**

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><p><strong><em><span>Izaya's POV<span>_**

Staring at the dark streets of shinjuku and watching as how my humans made their way back to their homes where their loved ones are... Their family, friends, lovers... People that care, love and cherish them...

How come I have none of those?

"I love all my humans so they should love me back..."

But that never happened and it never will, There's only one feeling that my humans harbor for me and that is hate.

I don't know anyone who doesn't.

I took a piece of paper and a pen and began to write.

_Those who care for me:_

...

Shinra and I aren't that close and he considers me annoying (look who's talking), celty we only talk for business and business only, namie she only tolerates me for the money, mairu and kururi are willing to sell their own brother in order to meet Yūhei Hanejima which happens to be shizuo's brother...

And there's Shizuo Heiwajima the man who hates me more than anyone...funny I happen to feel the opposite for him.

Every since I met him I fell in love with him and there I was I thinking things like 'love at first sight' doesn't exist well I happen to be one of the victims of it, but it wasn't the same for him...

_"You piss me off"_

Those words hurt greatly and it left me thinking

_was it something I said?_

_did I do something wrong?_

_Why does he hate me?_

my body moved on its own, slashing him with my knife and at that moment I knew it was too late to fix it, too late to correct my mistake, too late to take it back.

Well I never did anything good in my life, my mouth always kept making the words I knew would hurt people, why should this be any different?

I never tried to correct it again for I was afraid of getting hurt, yes dear people even I the great Izaya Orihara can be afraid!

I sighed and placed the pen down and decided to take a little walk to clear my mind.

Walking along the the streets while blending in with my dear humans I let my feet take me to wherever it wants.

Along the way I kept thinking if I should just

End it all...

I mean no one would miss me, why should they?

Unfortunately my feet led me to Ikebukuro.

I quickly turned around to head back to shinjuku but stopped when I heard the sound of my name.

"Izzzzaaaayaaa-kuuuunnn"

Dodging a vending machine that made its way to me I turned around to looked at the person who threw it which would be none other than Shizuo Heiwajima, although I wasn't in the mood for our usual chase I putted on my trade mark smirk.

"Why shizu-chan is that a way to greet an old friend?"

"Shut the hell up! And what do you mean by friend?! I would never be friends with a bastard like you!"

It hurts, it hurts so much to hear him say these things

"Why won't you just die you pathetic flea?! I'm sure you'll be doing Ikebukuro a BIG favor by doing so! Oh and don't worry I'm sure no one will miss you."

I lowered my head just enough for my hair to cover my eyes as my smirk fights to stay in place, geez shizu-chan why must you hurt me like this?

He makes his way towards me stopping only when he's in front of me with a look that only screams hatred.

"You are a sorry excuse for a human"

_Stop_

"A demon in the flesh"

_No please... No more_

"Why can't you just die?"

_Please...stop...I beg of you...please_

**"I hate you so damn much"**

My heart just shattered into a million pieces, those words...they hurt so goddamn much...

I looked up at Shizuo to say something back but only to see his shocked expression.

"F-flea? Why the hell are you crying?"

I touched my face to feel that my cheeks are moist, I haven't even noticed that I cried.

"Flea? Hey wha- flea!"

I turned around and started running towards my apartment.

I can't believe he just saw me cry how could I let myself be weak in front of him?

Rain started pouring down from the sky, soaking me completely but I could care less, my main goal is to get back home.

I quickly opened the door to my apartment and then slammed it shut, I slid down the said door and hugged my knees.

Then I cried to my hearts content.

I kept crying all throughout the night while remembering all the harsh things Shizuo just said.

But It was all true...

I pictured a world without me, it seemed more bright, pleasant, and happy, all of the people in Ikebukuro and shinjuku celebrating the day of my death.

I smiled at thought of my humans being happy because of my death, so I decided to give them the happiness they long for.

I stood up and grabbed my switch blade from my desk, I took a good look at it, this blade I'm holding will be the key of happiness for both me and my humans but out of all I bet shizu-chan will be the happiest, I can already picture him dancing on top of my grave and saying things like _'The flea is finally dead! Sayonara people I'm heading off to Italy to celebrate!'_

I took a piece of paper and a pen and began writing letters to the people I cared about.

the first being my sisters...

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><p><strong><em>To: Mairu and Kururi Orihara<em>**

**_Ne I'm very sorry that you two have a bad brother believe me I tried to be an ideal brother but I just...couldn't, well you guys don't have to worry about dealing with me anymore just remember something... I'll love you guys no matter what okay? No matter how annoying you two can get I'll always love you and again I'm sorry that I became your brother and..._**

**_Goodbye_**

**_-A bad brother, Izaya Orihara_**

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><p>then next is shinra's<p>

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><p><strong><em>To: Shinra Kishitani <em>**

**_By the time you're reading this I'm already gone but I just want to say thank you for being a friend to me, you are the only one I can consider a friend and I understand if you don't see me as one, thank you for being there for me and I'm sorry..._**

**_-An annoying friend, Izaya Orihara_**

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><p>I should probably write one to celty since I'll be gone sooner or late I might as well give her a letter.<p>

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><p><strong><em>To: Celty Sturluson<em>**

**_hello celty! Listen I just wanted to say thank you for your services, I know you don't like to work with a bastard like me but don't worry you won't have to anymore...so hey umm listen I have a gift for you! Just look under my desk and you'll see it! Well that'll be all thank you and sorry_**

**_P.S: tell shinra you love him already!_**

**_-A pathetic being, Izaya Orihara_**

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><p>Hmm...I should probably leave one for namie too...oh well.<p>

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><p><strong><em>To: Namie Yagiri<em>**

**_So I bet you'll be celebrating about my death huh? Oh and if you're wondering why I decided to write a letter to you, well I just wanted to say thank you for the hard work and also sorry If I'm such a bad boss but well you won't have to deal with me anymore! And don't worry I'm sure you'll find a greater job out there well that'll be all, again I'm sorry._**

**_-A bad boss, Izaya Orihara_**

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><p>And last but not the least...<p>

Shizu-chan...

well since this is my last time I might as well spill every thing here...

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><p><strong><em>To: Shizu-chan<em>**

**_Ne shizu-chan I bet when you hear about my death you'll be jumping all over the place, well can't blame you for being happy._**

**_I'll try to make this short as possible seeing as how your idiotic brain can't handle much of the information anyway._**

**_Ah! Don't rip it apart just yet!_**

**_listen I just wanted to say...sorry_**

**_now I know you won't believe me and you might be thinking things such as 'the flea can say sorry?' Well for the record I can._**

**_...sorry for all the things I've said, all the things I have done, things like framing you for crimes you didn't do and getting you fired from almost all your jobs._**

**_I know that you hate with all your heart but I want you yo know I feel the opposite of that hate for you, to make it simple for little mind..._**

**_I...Love...you_**

**_whew I finally said it..._**

**_look I know you're disgusted with that but believe me, I do love you, ever since the day we met, and it...hurts you know? The moment you said you hate me, it hurts..._**

**_I never really did find out why you said that and it seems I never will._**

**_...I'm really surprised that you've reached this far shizu-chan, I was expecting you rip this letter the moment I said I love you, but oh well you're still unpredictable as always._**

**_well I guess that'll be all, after I'm gone I'm sure Ikebukuro will be peaceful just the way you want and I bet vending machines won't be raining down that much..._**

**_I love you..._**

**_Now and Forever..._**

**_Thank you, I'm sorry and Goodbye_**

**_Shizuo..._**

**_-Yours truly, the flea_**

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><p>Finishing my last letter, I leaned back at my chair at brought a hand to my face only to feel the tears flowing out of my eyes, I smiled, knowing that all the pain and sadness will be gone along with my life...<p>

I stood up and grabbed my switchblade, placing the cold metal to my wrist I began to cut myself, it was painful but at the same it was relaxing, blood ran down from my wrist to my fingertips I fell to my knees and collapsed into the floor, black spots started invading my vision as slowly fell to unconsciousness, muttering out my final words before finally giving myself to the darkness.

_"I love you...Shizuo"_

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><p><strong>AN: so did you guys umm uh like it? I hope you do.****  
><strong>

**anyways this story will only be for two or three chapters and I might finish it later after I get some sleep -_-**

**I hope you guys liked it!**

**and also...**

**Please review~! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **hello dear readers~! I'll be making this short. Here's the second chapter of 'Those who care' thank you for the reviews, favorites, follows I really appreciate them :)

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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><p><strong><em><span>Shinra's POV<span>_**

I was staring out the window and watching as how the rain fell down from the sky "it's really gloomy today isn't it?" I ask particularly to no one...

I was brought back by the sound of a horse and creaking sound the door made as it opened.

"Celty my flower~! your finally back! Oh how I missed you so much! You know it was ver lonely here without my beautiful wif- ooff!" I was awarded with a punch to the stomach.

"s-so you're rather early today ahh but that doesn't mean I don't like it! I'm glad my dear celty is home~!" I spread my arms out wide to embrace her but stopped when I notice her getting her arm ready to deliver another blow to my poor stomach, I sighed.

**[Izaya didn't give me any work today]**

"ah I see... Speaking of izaya, I haven't seen him all day"

**[same goes for me, he didnt even contact me to say he wasn't going to give any work today]**

I turned around to face the window and watch the rain fall again.

"celty dear might I ask but do you feel like I dunno somethings a bit... Off today?" I see her reflection on the glass as she typed, I turned my head little to see her answer as she held up her PDA.

**[Yes... I do but why do you ask though?]**

"I just feel... Uneasy... Like something bad happened" I lowered my head to look at the streets.

Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and I glanced up to see celty holding up her PDA to me

**[ I'm sure it'll be alright]**

I only nodded as answer...

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><p>It was already 3 in the morning and I still couldn't shake off the uneasy feeling, It bothered me so much to the point where I couldn't even sleep!<p>

"Izaya-kun..." I got up to a sitting position and wondered why did I say his name, then I got a hunch.

"the uneasiness I feel must be somehow related to him..." I mumbled and then grabbed my cellphone to compose a message to izaya.

**_/Hey izaya sorry for waking you up this late but would you mind texting back I just need to make sure your okay. Thanks/_**

I waited for the reply for 5 minutes...

...

then 10

...

15

...

20

...

"ugh why is it taking him so long?! It usually takes him only a minute to write a reply and he's a light sleeper so why is it tak-" I was cut off with my own thought...

Izaya is a light sleeper and he replies fast...

I quickly changed to my usual attire and headed straight to the living room to see my darling celty changing into her usual black outfit.

"celty dear something is clearly wrong! Would you mind taking me to izaya's place?" she nodded and made something with her shadows that looked like a helmet and passed it on to me, we headed off to izaya's place as fast as we could.

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><p><strong><em><span>a certain apartment in shinjuku<span>_**

We arrived at izaya's place 30 minutes later and I am currently in front of his door with celty beside me, I took a deep breath and began knocking.

no answer...

I knocked again.

still no answer...

my hand made its way to the door knob and gave it a slight twist, we were surprised to know that the door was open which worried us even more.

we made our way to dark room that was illuminated with the brightness of the moon passing through the window.

scanning the room for any signs of life I hesitantly called out "izaya... izaya where are you?"

Me and celty began looking everywhere in his apartment when we got no reply, I sighed and just thought that he wasn't home to somehow calm myself down from the panic that was about to consume me.

we were about to leave until I was reminded of a place we still haven't checked _"his desk..." _Iimmediatelyran to the back of his desk until I felt something trip me, I turned around to look at was seems to be izaya's switchblade...that was covered in blood.

I've never been so scared in my whole life, there in front of me was the man I was looking for, collapsed on the floor, lips slightly parted, eyes shut, and blood coming out of his wrist.

"Izaya!" I quickly went to his side to check for anything indicating that the fallen raven is still alive.

_pulse?_

none...

_heartbeat?_

none...

_bodyheat?_

nothing...

I felt tears running down my face as I shouted to the body which was once filled with life but now laying limp in my arms, lifeless.

"WHY!? WHY'D YOU DO IT!? WHAT COULD'VE MADE YOU TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE!? WHAT!?" I felt a hand on my shoulder to see my beloved wife kneeled beside me as she pulled me into a hug I couldn't stop myself from crying helplessly into her arms.

one of my friends was taken away from me without a single warning.

the person I knew since middle school...

the person whom I treated as one of my best friends..

gone...

a hand brushes across my hair gently I could tell that celty is trying to comfort me but I'm afraid it doesn't work, to try taking up the sight of your friend's dead body is too much to ask.

my dear celty tried to help me stand up but I just collapse back down, I decided that I should be strong...

grabbing the edge of the desk I slowly got up to my feet, turning my head to look at the desk I saw pieces of paper with names and I happened to see one with my name on it.

grabbing the piece of paper I began reading the content...

I once again fell to my knees sobbing while shouting.

"ANNOYING FRIEND!? Since when have I thought of you as an annoying friend!? Izaya...why?"

the sadness nearly consumed me if celty wasn't here I would've been a sobbing mess by now.

looking at izaya's sleeping face I forced a smile and said...

"sleep well dear friend"

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><p><strong>AN:** sorry that this was kinda rushed :( anyways the next chapter will be the last.

please review dear people~!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** hey guys so this'll be the last chapter for 'Those who care' :) I kinda cried while writing this :') anyways I would like thank you for all the favorite's, follows, and reviews :) I really really appreciate it! so let's go on with the story! ;)

**Disclaimer: **Sadly I do not own Durarara nor any of its characters

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><p><span><em><strong>Shizuo's POV<strong>_

I am currently staring at the ceiling of my apartment, I still couldn't believe that all it took was ONE phone call to drain the energy and life out of me.

One phone call was all it took...

to break my heart...

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><p><em><span><strong>An hour ago<strong>_

I arrived home earlier than usual since tom only had a few maniacs to collect debts from, he decided to call it a day also since it's still raining and all.

I happened to notice one thing...

I haven't seen the flea around for THREE days! THREE fucking days!

he must be planning something evil again, well whatever his plan is it's my duty to stop it, who knows it might affect ikebukuro in a bad way.

opening the door I went inside and muttered a small "I'm home" to no one in particular, I sighed and took off my bartender outfit to replace it with something warm.

Opening the fridge I took out a bottle of milk and drank it to the last drop, after wiping the excess milk while using the back of my hand I went to the living room to watch some shows just to past time since I have nothing better to do.

I ended up watching a show called 'Tom and Jerry' funny this show reminds me of my daily chases with the flea.

I frowned, I remembered that the flea hasn't shown up for days...

"what could that bastard be doing? being gone for three days... I'm fucking sure that he's up to no good again."

Turning off the TV I headed directly to my bedroom to get a good night sleep, unfortunately just as I was about to drift off to slumber my phone started ringing.

looking at the caller ID I frowned as the small screen displayed the number of a certain underground doctor which would be none other than Shinra Kishitani.

Sighing I flipped open my cellphone and answer the call.

"Hello?"

**-Shi-shizuo-**

I was surprised a bit, I was expecting him to answer with his usual too-much-happy of a tone but I was greeted by a sad and somewhat broken voice.

"Shinra? Hey what's wrong?"

I sat up properly on my bed, I knew something bad had happened since shinra wasn't his usual self, he was the type to not give a damn unless it involves celty or one of his friends.

**-Shizuo I-I...-**

there was a short silence followed by a quiet sobbing...

"hey shinra you alright dude?"

**-No! I'm not alright!-**

I was taken back by sudden outburst.

**-S-sorry it's j-just that...-**

once again he began sobbing...

"ok shinra what the hell happened?" I asked getting a little uneasy and worried at the same time.

**-I-Izaya h-he...-**

I frowned yet again,_ "I knew that damn flea has something to do with this..."_, I gripped my cellphone a little bit harder but not enough to crush it as the anger slowly rised up in my chest.

"what the hell did that louse do this time? I swear if I ever see that face again I'll-"

**-Shizuo... he's dead-**

my eyes widened at the words that came out of the other persons mouth,_"Izaya? Dead? Ha! what a laugh! he can't be dead... He can't be..." _

"come again? I didn't quite catch what you said there?

even though I asked the reply was still the same...

**-Izaya...h-he's dead...-**

I could tell that shinra was trying his best not to cry anymore but failed as he began crying as he said those words.

Izaya Orihara...

a skillful informant and a parkour master...

the person I've been trying so hard to kill for almost 9 years...

9 fucking years...

dead...

gone...

I don't get it, I should be happy, I should be elated, escastic even! But no instead I feel horrible, like the weight of the entire world was placed upon my shoulders or rather my heart...

How?

how did the flea just leave like that?

But what pains me more is the thought of him, never coming back, ever.

**-Shizuo?-**

"How?"

**-w-what?-**

"How did...izaya die?"

I swear if anyone murdered him I will hunt him or her down, I will make sure that they will pay for taking what is _mine, _I will make them suffer, I will-

**-...Suicide...-**

That word, that one single word caused me to fall to my knees as tears made its way down my face.

"Y-you're wrong"

**-eh?- **

"You're wrong! You're goddamned wrong! The flea... Izaya... He... He can't be... He can't be dead! Who the fuck told you that piece of bullshit!? Izaya cant be dead! He can't be de-"

**-Shizuo... Please... Please stop... Don't deny the truth... Please...-**

"Truth!? Shinra you call that piece of bullshit the truth?! Izaya isn't dead! He CAN'T be dead! He-"

**-Shizuo please stop!-**

"h-he can't be... He can't be dead... He can't be..."

I hugged my knees towards my chest and placed my head onto them and cried...

I couldnt remember a time when I cried this hard, hell I don't even remember if I even did cry!

"izaya no you can't be..."

shinra had dropped the call and sended me a message instead.

**_/His funeral will be in one week time, come if you wish/_**

his funeral...

I don't know, I still couldn't accept the fact that he's dead, I don't know if I'm ready to face him... Even though it's only his body present.

But I want to see him even if it's just...

one last time...

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><p><strong><em><span>~Time Skip~<span>_**

**_One week later_**

Facing

the mirror, I fixed my black tie and combed my hair properly, I decided to show up for the funeral, as I said I wanted to see him even if it's for the last time, I want to see him.

at first I wanted to wear my usual bartender outfit but decided that it wouldn't be appropriate...

looking at the wall clock I noticed that it was time to go... Time to meet izaya...

I arrived at the funeral on time and greeted some of the persons I know that also attended the flea's funeral.

That ryugamine kid is there along with his gang, kyohei and the van gang, izaya's secretary, simon, his sisters who's being comforted by celty, I think even some of his clients are present, and then there's shinra, still crying in front of izaya's body.

Everyone present had a sad expression etched on their face, some even crying, at first I thought that no one would miss the flea if he ever leaves this world, guess I was wrong, maybe it's because I happen to be one of those who miss him...

After the funeral everyone said their goodbyes and left flowers in front of the grave which bears the name of**_ 'Izaya Orihara' _**

Me and shinra were the only ones left, we still didn't want to leave just yet...

"Who knew huh?" Shinra started.

"Huh?"

"Who knew that he would just... Go away like that" he looks up at the sky with saddened and red eyes while I looked down.

"What made him do it? What made him take away his life?" Was it me? Did I say something? That's most likely the answer.

"No one knows but he left each one of us a letter..." He reached towards his pocket and took out a small folded piece of paper, "here's yours" he handed me the paper and slowly I opened it and began to read...

After reading I slowly got to my knees and cried silently, love me? He Izaya Orihara loves me Shizuo Heiwajima? At first I couldn't believe it but know I do...

"I'll give you sometime to talk to him..." Shinra said as left me alone with izaya.

"Hey izaya... Do you... Do you really love me? If so then why'd you leave me? You say that I'm unpredictable but your more unpredictable than me... Telling me you love me and then just... Leave me alone, well you know what flea?" I placed two flowers in front of his grave, one white Lilly and one red rose, the Lilly is to say I'm sorry for all that have said and done and the rose is to say that... "I love you"

"Well I'll have to go now flea... Don't worry I'll visit you every day so won't have to worry about being alone... I love you... Now and forever"

I stood up and made my way out of the cemetery but not before looking at the piece of paper posted on his grave.

**_Those who care..._**

**_Shizuo Heiwajima  
>Shinra Kishitani<br>Celty Sturluson  
>Mairu Orihara<br>Kururi Orihara  
>Namie Yagiri<br>Kadota Kyohei  
>Erika Kirasawa<br>Walker Yumasaki  
>Saburo Togusa<br>Simon Brezhnev  
>Mikado ryugamine<br>Kida Masaomi  
>Anri Sonohara<br>Saki Makijima_**

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><p><strong>AN:** ne so that's the final chapter for this here story hope you enjoyed it ;) anyways thank you and advance happy valentines day guys!

mahal na mahal ko kayong lahat! 3 ;3

please leave a review~!


	4. ANNOUNCEMENT!

Hey guys so just a short announcement!

there will be a sequel to this story which I will be posting in a few days Entitled **_'Chase you until the end'_**! So I hope you dear readers consider reading this story of mine! And thank you for all the lovely reviews you people left for this story! Which is why I decided to make a sequel so I can (hopefully) get more reviews :D ;P

So that'll be all thank you for reading and may you have a pleasant day/afternoon/night

-T.L.A


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